numb

[sadie_cocopuff]

i feel like i'm missing some important internal organs and like my head is going to float away. could be because i'm sick, could be because i've been crying, or some combination of the two. i feel so tired and awful and exhausted and idiotic. i shouldn't have gone to the halloween party tonight. my presence did nothing good for anyone including myself. and now i think i'm not going to be able to talk to a few people for quite a while without feeling like...i don't even know what i feel. i knew it was coming. i even thought i was okay with it. i thought i would be HAPPY for them. hell no. i'm livid and betrayed and heartbroken, however cliche that sounds. i need to go to bed now. and sleep for about a million years. like rip van winkel, or whoever that guy was.